The Avengers go to Hogwarts
by iWriter42
Summary: After Loki fails to destroy the world the Avengers decide his punishment - three weeks at Hogwarts
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody! This is my first fanfic so ya I hope you like it and I'll post more chapters soon. **

After Loki tried to take over the world, the Avengers decided it was time for his punishment- he will spend three weeks at Hogwarts.

_A week later_

"You'll learn good magic." Said Natasha, trying to calm him down. "And you'll get to make some new friends." Loki scowled.

When they arrived at the castle in their superhero suits and weapons, Loki was almost exploding. His face was red, and his clenched fists were shaking with rage.

"Hello, there." Boomed a voice as the huge wooden doors opened. "What d'you think ye're doin' ere at Hogwarts?" said Hagrid.

"We've come so Loki here can get some education." Said Nick Fury.

"Well this school isn't fer muggles like you so you can go get education SOMEWHERE ELSE." He yelled.

"Could I please speak with the headmaster?" Fury asked.

"Yeah, I'll get Dumbledore and McGonagall." A few minutes later they appeared in the doorway.

The Avengers explained their story. "Well, then come right in!" said Dumbledore merrily. "And the rest of you can come as well!"

As they left some students came in.

"BLOODY HELL! WHERE DID THAT WAND COME FROM?" yelled Ron pointing at Thor's hammer. "This is Mjolnir, forged in the heart of a dying star, a tool to build and a weapon to destroy!"

Said Thor triumphantly, holding it up. "I am the only one in all the nine realms who can lift it!"

"I mean what's the _core?" _Said Ron, who obviously thought Thor was an idiot.

"What do you mean, what's the core? It is the great mighty Mjolnir!"

Thor said. Just then Harry Potter spoke up. "Who's this?" He said with great fascination, looking at them all in their suits and weapons. "Great Halloween costumes, wish I had one."

"You mean _this _is what muggles wear on Halloween?" Said Ron, horror struck. "They look hideous!"

"Let's take them to the Defense against the Dart Arts classroom." Sneered Draco Malfoy.

"Show them the Bogart." And for once Harry and Ron agreed with him.

"No you absolutely cannot! It is breaking the rules! We're going to lose points for Gryffindor!" Shrieked Hermione Granger.

"Shut up you filthy little mudblood!"

The Avengers listened to this conversation, wondering what had hit them in the head, if all wizards and witches were like this, and most of all, what the hell a Bogart was.

"Follow me." Said Malfoy, and they followed him into the classroom. There was a rattling cupboard inside.

"You first." Said Malfoy, pointing to Steve. He stepped up to him and held up his shield saying: "What's this?" trying to intimidate Malfoy and obviously failing.

"Come and see." "No!" yelled the Avengers, all except for Tony who just laughed.

Then Malfoy opened the cupboard.

"Stand back!" He yelled to the rest of them, who surprisingly obeyed.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed Steve, and the rest of them saw a guy with a red face and no nose holding a woman's dead body. "PEGGY!" He screamed again and ran to the back of the room.

"ME NEXT!" Yelled Tony and all he saw was A bunch of sexy girls saying ew and walking away from him. "NOOOOO! COME BACK! LET ME LOVE YOU!"

He screamed and ran to join Steve at the back of the room.

And on and on it went. Thor saw Alvin and the chipmunks chasing him. (Tony had made him watch it a few weeks before).

Bruce saw green flashy lights and a green monster. "YAY! GO HULK!" yelled Tony, followed by a "Shut up" from Steve.

Natasha saw herself in prison.

Clint Barton saw himself forced to fight goblins with nothing but a stubby sword.

"Riddikulus!" Shouted Harry, and Clint saw them all dead and holding a bow and arrow in his hands.

"Well, that's all for today said Malfoy and strutted out. Harry put the Bogart back in the cupboard and said a quick sorry to them all, especially Thor.

The Avengers suddenly noticed Nick Fury was missing. "He ran away." Said Ron. "Poor thing!" said Hermione. The Avengers waited for what would come next in this terrible castle.

**Malfoy will set the Bogart on you if you don't review.**


	2. The Sorting Hat

**Hi readers! Thank you so much those of you who reviewed you guys are the best! This chapter is really short, sorry about that. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or The Avengers**

The Avengers had realized the next day that not only Fury but Loki was missed the Bogart too.

"Coward." Said Steve, referring to Loki.

"Puny little weakling." Said Tony.

"I wonder what his greatest fear was." Said Natasha.

They grew bored by the end of the morning. They had had a delicious breakfast and were fascinated by quidditch but later there was nothing left to do now that Loki was having private tutoring by Professor Dumbledore and Nick Fury watching that he didn't try to blow up the classroom.

"So, what are the heroes up to now?" Said Malfoy, looking at them sitting on the staircase.

"Nothing." Answered Bruce.

"Bored? I know just the thing." Malfoy said, smirking.

"What?" They all asked, willing to do anything that would keep them occupied.

Draco held up a hat.

"What does that do? Asked Tony

"It tells you what house you belong in." He said.

Then the hat began to sing. Steve freaked out. The hat sang of the four houses and the personalities each one had.

"Now each one of you will try it on." Said Malfoy coolly. "Who's first?"

No one said anything,

"Ooh, cowards. None in Gryffindor, thank goodness."

"I will." Said Steve, although he looked nervous.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The sorting hat screamed. Steve looked relieved.

"My turn!" Said Tony. The sorting hat took a long time to sort him until it finally screamed "RAVENCLAW!"

Malfoy didn't look pleased that neither one of them was a Slytherin.

"I shall wear this mighty hat and it shall determine my destiny!" Yelled Thor.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Malfoy died of laughter.

"RAVENCLAW!" shouted the hat when Bruce wore it.

Natasha was Slytherin.

Clint was also a Slytherin.

Just then, Loki and Fury returned.

"TRY ON THE HAT!" The Avengers yelled.

Loki warily tried on the hat.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"My new friends!" Said Malfoy, looking at Natasha , Clint and Loki.

"FURY! TRY IT ON!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Malfoy shoved it on Fury's head.

The hat took forever.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Fury doesn't like Hogwarts.

Harry and Ron entered the room. "It's alright." Said Ron. "Lots of people don't get what house they want."

"Yeah, just wait until you see the mirror." Said Harry.

"What mirror?" Said Steve

"You'll see."

**R&R, And more chapters coming soon!**


	3. The mirror of Erised

**HI everybody! This chapter is longer than the last one and I don't know what else to say this A/N so bye hope you like it!**

"What do you mean we'll see? Will we see _today_? Asked Steve.

"Yes." Said Harry and Ron in unison.

"Also, are you just the Avengers or do you work for something?" Asked Ron.

"We work for S.H.E.I.L.D." Said Tony

"Brilliant. You're lucky it's not spew."

"S.P.E.W.! Not Spew!" Shrieked Hermione.

"Wish you came up with S.H.E.I.L.D." sneered Ron.

Hermione walked away.

The Avengers had a pretty good day. Loki and Fury were gone, as usual, they had wonderful meals, they watched a game of Quidditch, and Bruce and Professor McGonagall had a nice conversation about the art of transfiguration.

At night Harry Potter came to their room.

"Come now!" He whispered.

The Avengers followed him to a classroom with a rather large mirror inside.

"Look in the mirror and you'll see what you want most in the world." He said.

"Will we get it?" Asked Loki. (Remember, This is nighttime so Loki and Fury are there with them.)

"No." Answered Harry. "Not unless your wish is the Philosopher's stone, though. But it was destroyed."

"You first." He said, pointing to Bruce.

"Why me?" He asked.

"I dunno. Just go stand in front of the mirror and remember nobody else is going to see it."

"I'm cured! Yay! This is the BEST DREAM EVER!" yelled Bruce with glee.

"I shall look in this mighty mirror and see my wishes come not so true!" shouted Thor and the rest of them hissed at him to shut the hell up or they'll get detention with Filch.

"I'm king! I rule Asgard and nobody has power over me!" Thor said loudly, but not shouting. As you can see he is incapable of whispering.

Loki was king of the whole world with no-one to stop him.

Steve saw Peggy at the Stork Club. "Dance with me!" He said. The avengers got the wrong idea.

Tony saw himself, plain and simple.

"You're the happiest man in the world!" Said Harry.

"Shut up." Said Tony.

Clint saw himself with all the fancy looks-like-you-can't-use-it-because-it's-so-complicated bows and arrows.

Natasha smiled really big as soon as she stepped in front of it. "I'm just a regular person! I like this!" She said, squeaking and Squealing.

Fury stood completely silent, but like Natasha broke out in a huge grin. "I can't believe you're all working together as a team. It makes me so proud!"

The avengers had never heard him say anything like that in their whole lives.

"Ah, You have all seen the wonders and delights of the Mirror of Erised." Spoke a voice softly behind them.

They all jumped a foot in the air. Albus Dumbledore stood behind them.

"How did you get in here?" demanded Thor, ready to throw his hammer at Dumbledore's head.

"NOOO! DON'T KILL HIM!" yelled Harry, standing in front of him with his arms sticking out.

He had no idea how retarded he looked. The Avengers all laughed at him.

"I kill only the enemy!" Said Thor, bowing to Dumbledore.

"Stand up. I can become invisible as I please. I have seen what you all want, as well as what I want." He sighed. "I wish I had a pair of socks. I really do. But nobody gives me them."

"Socks?" Said Steve disbelievingly. "You want socks more than anything in the world? _Socks_?"

"Please don't look in the mirror again." Said Dumbledore. "You will lose the will to live."

"PLEEEEEAAASE?" said Loki. "I'll be good!" I'll never make the frogs point the middle finger at you again I PROMISE. PLEEEEASE?"

"You. .. pointed. . . middle …. Finger… at Dumbledore?" said Harry.

"NO you puny little mortal form! I made the frogs do it!"

"OOOHHH! Naughty naughty first years!" said Peeves the poltergeist, coming through the mirror of Erised.

"GO AWAY PEEVES!" yelled Harry.

"OOHH and you're going to stop me?" he snickered, disappearing, then reappearing with a box of chalk in his hands.

"RUN!" yelled Harry, and the Avengers followed him. But Peeves never missed. Finally they made their way back to their rooms, and Harry went off to his. They were all covered in chalk dust.

Dumbledore had quite enjoyed the whole show, and in the mirror of Erised he saw himself with a box of popcorn.

"**Naughty Naughty you'll get Caughty if you don't review!" said Peeves with a box of chalk and an evil smile on his face.**


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